Yesterday, Jet Lag Dad and I attended our first grown up social outing since Edible Baby was born, a dinner party with Alpha Pilates Mum. Keen not to make a bad impression, I’d drawn up a list of do’s and don’ts.
Rule number one: Alpha Pilates Mum is highly allergic to anything scented, so under no circumstances bring flowers.
Rule number two: Buy chocolates instead, preferably something hard to find and expensive. Sadly, since APM will not want to endanger her sylph-like figure by eating any, this onerous task will fall to you.
Rule number three: Whatever you do, do not arrive either early or late. Alpha Pilates Mum is a stickler for punctuality.
Rule number four: Resign yourself to the fact that whatever wine you bring it will be incompatible with Alpha Pilates Mum’s cordon bleu menu of delights. But not to worry, the wine she has chosen will be absolutely delicious.
Rule number five: If you can’t relax, then at least enjoy. You won’t be getting food as good as this until APM takes pity on Jet Lag Dad and invites you back.